Today was a beautiful day in Chicago. It was one of those days where everybody has burst outdoors after a long snowy winter. Lots of runners. Lots of outdoor eating. Walking and talking. I had lunch with friends out on the lawn of one of the buildings on campus. It was lovely. And tonight I played basketball outside with my husband until it was too dark to see the ball. It was nice to get my heart rate up out in the fresh air. I'm really glad spring is here.
This week I found out that a business acquaintance who I've become friends with got pregnant on her first IVF cycle. I knew she was pregnant, but had no idea she'd been struggling with fertility problems. When she asked me if I planned to have kids, I ended up telling her in an email that I was starting IVF and that I was nervous. She called me immediately. It was good to connect with somebody who has actually been through it.
She had some interesting advice about not sharing all the gory details of shots and emotions with my husband. She said that her husband had a hard time with that stuff and made the statement "well lets just stop, then" somewhere mid-cycle after she'd already taken a bunch of the injections. She wanted to kill him. I don't blame her. I suspect this type of response from husbands is probably not that uncommon. In fact, I could see my own husband saying the same thing if he thought I was in pain or really struggling. He has already said that he would not be able to go through what I'm going through (needles, retrievals etc...) if he were me. So while I don't plant to hide things from him, I will probably try to spare him some of the details. There's no need in both of us being miserable, right?
Before I hung up with my friend, she suggested that I identify a couple of close friends that I could talk to when I needed it. And she told me not to hesitate to call her any time. That really meant a lot to me. I mean like I want to send her a thank you card or something, except I'm afraid she'll think I'm crazy. I just hope I can hold it together for this.