It's sad how the mind can play tricks on you.
This month, I was just sure I was pregnant, again. Even though we were officially "not trying" this month, we had unprotected sex on day 12 and 14 and since I had a positive ovulation predictor test on day 13, it seemed like we really did "try" after all. At the exact right time.
I started taking (or "using" - I still don't know what to call what I do with them) the Progesterone 2 days after the positive ovulation test but unlike last time, I had some pretty serious pregnancy-like symptoms. Like a big dork, I started taking pregnancy tests 8 days past ovulation.
Cramps starting 10 days past ovulation - no biggy! maybe "my uterus is just growing" (I've read that on a million fertility sites.)
Spotting with cramps starting day 11 - no biggy! maybe it's "implantation bleeding" (I've read that a million times, too.)
And even though I was vehemently opposed to all this infertility hoopla, for the past 2 days I've taken negative pregnancy tests, photographed the test then tried to do all sorts of shit to the picture to visualize a second line that is clearly not there.
I'm ashamed of myself.
big love and gratitude
13 hours ago