Saturday, November 28, 2009

On Age

I read a blog post the other day that really resonated with me. Romancing the Stone wrote about how comfortable she was with her age. It's something I've been obsessing about for a year or so. I'm 42 now. I'm 42 now. Wow. Even writing that is weird to me. But when I think about it, I don't think I'd change anything. I needed every single experience I've had to get to where I am today. And, although there are a lot of things I'm struggling with today, I know I'm in a good place.

I find myself staring at mothers I pass wondering how old they are. I constantly think about what it would be like to be the 62 year old mother of a 20 year old daughter and the struggles that might bring. I think about what it could be like for my child to bury his/her mother, maybe even before building a family to cry with. But the funny thing about it is that I never spend a single second thinking about the good things that would come from having a baby later in life. I'm in a loving relationship now for the first time ever. I'm more financially secure than I've ever been. I have the wisdom of a 42 year old woman which could go a long way when giving advice to an impressionable child.

Today I'm trying to embrace my age. To be OK with it. I don't want to view it like a fertility death sentence. I'm starting to believe that we AMA's have been negatively convinced by all that we read and all that the doctors tell us, to such and extent that it is really preventing us from getting pregnant. I don't want to be that girl anymore.


  1. A lovely post. As someone who just hit the big 4-0, I know how very pervasive this line of "your child will have to bury you while s/he's still so young!" thinking is.

    Yeah, so what? My child will also have the benefit of a mother who's not an impatient wreck, who has nothing more important in her life than her child, who has done much that she wanted to accomplish with her life and is not going to ever feel like her child is holding her back.

    I say we 40-somethings are going to be fantastic parents, even if the process of getting there is a little tougher. Thank you for the really good, really timely reminder.

  2. Hi Sprog - thanks for visiting my blog! I tell ya, staying mindful of the GOOD things about advanced maternal age is not easy. But, I'm trying. I'm following your journey, too. Good luck with the DE's!