Thursday, July 23, 2009

"Don't Call Me Infertile!"

Last August when my guy gave me the first inkling that he was re-considering having kids, I rushed over to my OB/GYN to see what I needed to do to start getting my body ready. Just in case.

When I mentioned to her that we were "negotiating" about it, she immediately goes "OK great! I'll refer you right over to a fertility specialist!" Wait! What? But I don't want that. I haven't even started trying yet! But at your age and blah blah blah...

I refused. I was already taking prenatal vitamins prescribed to me by my Internist when I told her we were thinking about it. That day my OB/GYN did a few blood tests including a genetic test for Cystic Fibrosis which I found weird since nobody in my family or his has it. But, whatever, it's a blood test. But as I was leaving the office, the doctor hands me this piece of paper meant to explain another test she wants me to have. At the top of the page I read


I was pretty offended by it. Having not even started trying to conceive yet, I couldn't understand why she would assume I was infertile based on my age alone (I was 40 at the time).

I don't like labels. I feel like labels like "Infertile" and "Alcoholic" push people into victim-hood. Before you know it, you're hanging out with a bunch of other people who've been labeled like you and the next thing you know, the label has defined you as a person. I just don't see the point of it. To me, it seems much more productive to not own these labels.

In the end when we did finally decide to start trying, I had the "basic infertility workup" after all. Day 21 Progesterone level was 18. "Anything over 10 is good" they told me. Still, here I am shoving progesterone pills up my privates for the second month because, even though my numbers were OK, the very month we starting actively trying to conceive I started spotting like mad the entire week prior to my time I was supposed to start my period.

I'm starting to view this whole fertility/infertility thing a little differently now. That, or I'm getting sucked in just like all the others.

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