Nearly Here

It's almost over. I can tell. I did a test this morning, on CD12 and it was negative. I was so hopeful that I'd willed my left tube open this month.

Like many people's blogs I'm reading this week. I'm ready for 2009 to be over. I don't mean to wish my lift away, but this year has been big ole bitch. I'm glad to see it go. I love that we got married this spring, but other than that, it has sucked balls.

I'm tired of making New Year's resolutions that I never keep. This year, I thought of just making a to-do list. Like...

1. Plant my vegetable garden on time.
2. Learn to sew a quilt.
3. Hem my pants with my new sewing machine.
4. Can more stuff with the bazillion tomatoes I'm planning to grow.
5. RELAX and enjoy the vacation we've got planned for January and February.
6. Start on my book, hopefully with the help of my soon to be newly formed writing group.
7. Start a cleaning schedule and STICK TO IT!

Do you do New Year's resolutions? If so, what's your success rate?

She Won't Call It Negative, Yet

17 days past ovulation

spotting since 10dpo

negative pregnancy test

I have read all sorts of stuff on the web about Clomid causing a longer than usual luteal phase but I decided to call my RE today, anyway, to ask what I should be doing.

me "I'm 3 days late but with a negative pregnancy test. Does the Clomid cause a longer cycle?"

her "Not really."

me "Well, what should I do?"

her "Wait until you are 10 days late and test again and call me with results. Negative, I'll give you something to make you start. Positive, we'll do blood work and an early ultrasound."

me "I don't think I'm pregnant. I've been spotting since 10dpo just like I was doing before my period in prior months."

her "Well, not necessarily. A lot of women have spotting in early pregnancy."

me "Is it possible that my 'spotting' could have been my actual period?"

her "I don't think so. Your endometrial stripe was 9mm so you should have a normal period."

Just when I'm getting past the sadness of another negative, she throws me a bone. Stringing me along like a bad boyfriend.

Today is day 5.14. (month 5 of trying to conceive and day 14 of this cycle)

I've been spotting and cramping consistently for days. Still, my mind plays tricks. Maybe I'm pregnant.