Fertilization Report

Of the 4 eggs retrieved yesterday, 3 were mature and fertilized. This morning, 2 were growing normally. According to the embryologist, 95% of embryos continue to grow once they get to this point, so I'm hoping we can transfer both this Friday.

One more hurdle down! When I returned the call to the embryology lab this morning I thought I was going to vomit while I was on hold waiting for her to get on the phone. All this stuff is so anxiety provoking.

The embryologist said that they won't look at them again until Friday morning when they'll grade them then do the assisted hatching right before the transfer.

It's weird and very lovely to think about two potential babies that my husband and I created growing in a lab. I wonder if they are boys or girls.

What IVF Egg Retrieval Is Like

They retrieved 4 eggs today. A very low number, but one more than they saw on all my monitoring ultrasounds, so I'm happy.

I reported to the clinic today at 8:30, about an hour before my retrieval was scheduled to start. I only waited about 10 minutes in the waiting room before they called me back. My clinic does the retrievals right there in the office but they do have a separate space for the procedure rooms. There was one large room where the nurses congregate with the patient lockers and recovery beds on the left and two procedure rooms on the right.

I was instructed to change into a hospital gown (I was only allowed to keep my socks on) then to lay down on one of the recover beds. The recovery nurse went through a series of questions like "when is the last time you ate. When did you take your ovidrel shot." Then they started an IV with a bag of fluid and gave me a Zofran to try to prevent the nausea that patients often get from the sedation.

They wheeled me across the hall to the procedure room which had a bathroom and asked me to empty my bladder as much as possible. The embryology lab is connected to the procedure room by a small window and before I was moved to the procedure bed, I had to stand in front of the embryology lab and state my name and date of birth to the embryologist who was standing right there in front of tubes labeled with my name. I was relieved that they'll have my eggs clearly identified. The procedure bed is more like a reclining chair with a collapsible bottom. Once on the bed with my legs in the stirrups, They put oxygen in my nose and a blood pressure cuff on my non-IV arm. Then they turned down the light and gave me a dose of something that made me feel very good and very chatty. Within a couple of minutes, my RE came in the room and they started working. They couldn't find anything on my right ovary, even after pressing on my stomach to move things around. My right ovary is only a partial and they always have a hard time finding it. And then they moved to the left. They had given me as much of the Versed and the Fentanyl as they were able to and I was still awake but groggy. I could feel what they were doing and I'm pretty sure I was screaming. At some point I heard the sedation nurse tell my doctor "I can't give her anymore. She's at the max." Still, it wasn't as bad as the HSG I had last year. I heard them say "Gina, we found one they didn't see on ultrasound" which was great.

After they finished, they immediately had me turn over and gave me a progesterone shot on my left side. They transferred me back to the recovery bed, wheeled me back over to the other side of the room and let me lay there for a few minutes. They asked me to drink some ginger ale and eat a few crackers to see if I was going to be nauseous. I wasn't. Thank goodness! I believe I was in recovery for about an hour and they brought my husband back a few minutes before they let me leave. They also gave me Tylenol right before I left because I was already starting to feel pretty crampy.

Walking to the car was kind of scary. I felt pretty wobbly. I came home and slept for 3 hours. Right now I do have some cramping and I do feel a little groggy but I feel much better than I thought I would. All in all the procedure wasn't that bad.

I'll hear from the embryologist tomorrow with a fertilization report. I sure hope they all fertilize and are beautiful embryos.

IVF Stim Day 11

Is it still called "Stim day 11" if I didn't take any stimulation drugs today?

I triggered promptly at 9:45 last night. I didn't sleep well because I'm very nervous about tomorrow. And I've spent most of today thinking of all the horrible things that could happen.

When I spoke to the nurse today about my progesterone level that was added on to the bloodwork from Sunday due to the decrease in my estrogen level, she said she didn't even know why they ordered that. That the estrogen level always goes down a little when you start the Ganirelix. My progesterone was only 1, which means I have not ovulated.

We're due in the office tomorrow at 8:30. That's about an hour before the retrieval which is my clinic's protocol. I wish I had some prophylactic sedation like Valium or something. I think I'm more nervous about the sedation than the procedure itself.

I had another acupuncture session this evening. She did electroacupuncture on some points along my back which is meant to improve the blood and the blood flow to the reproductive organs. My lining was only 9mm yesterday so I'm hoping that'll improve a little. She did not do the points on the back of my legs this time which she said are more for the egg inside the follicle. It's too late for all that with my retrieval scheduled for in the morning. I was also really bummed to learn that my acupuncturist is headed out of town this Friday which I hope will be the day of my transfer. She was trying to find somebody who could treat me before and after my Friday transfer but then she found out her husband messed up their plane tickets and since she's now leaving later in the day on Friday, she's planning to come in just to treat myself and one other girl who is transferring on Friday. That's why I love her!

If you think about it, send me some good thoughts around 9:30 tomorrow morning.

IVF Stim Day 10

At my ultrasound today they saw the same three follicles on my left ovary. They are measuring 16, 17, 24 today. I was very surprised that the one grew 10mm in two days. Is that normal or does that mean there is probably something wrong with that egg?

I have not heard from my nurse yet but I'm assuming they'll have me trigger tonight for a Tuesday retrieval. I'm really nervous and all I can seem to think about are negative outcomes. I sure will be glad when this is over!

Update: nurse called to say trigger is at 9:45. My estrogen level was only 1500 which is down from 1685 on Friday. That worries me. The nurse said they added a progesterone level to my bloodwork to make sure I haven't already ovulated. I have no idea what they'll do if it's elevated.

IVF Stim Day 9

I don't feel much of anything in the ovary area today. So I'm overcome with fear that I'll show up tomorrow's ultrasound only to learn my 3 little follicles are gone. Or maybe I've just been laying around so much today that I haven't been in a position to be in pain. Hope.

Eight am acupuncture session. She treated me laying on my stomach again with the needles in my back and legs. With electricity. And I've got another session scheduled for Monday afternoon. Next week is bound to be pretty exciting. In a good way, or a bad way.

IVF Stim Day 8

The same 3. Now they are 14, 13, 12. Wow.

IVF Stim Day 6

I'm in a bad place.

Had my ultrasound this morning and when she only had the wand on the left side for a sec, I knew something was wrong. Nothing on the left over 10 mm and only three on the right measuring 11, 11, 10. There were a few less than ten, I think on both sides. When I asked the ultrasound tech to tell me how many, she replied "we can't discuss that." They only say that when it's bad news. If it's good, they're happy to tell you. At least that's my personal experience. Stupid bitches. Sorry, but that just pisses me off. Who do they think they're fooling?

When the nurse called with my results, I was disappointed that it wasn't my regular nurse. This other lady just ran through things in about 15 seconds. I could tell she was in a hurry.

her "You've got three follicles, two at 11 and one at 10. Your estrogen is 900. Stay the course with your Follistim and Menopur. Start your Ganarelix Friday morning and come back in Friday morning for another ultrasound."

me "Only three? Won't they just have me convert to IUI with that few?"

her "Well lets just cross our fingers that you get some more growth. Ok thank you bye"

What? What kind of explanation is that? I'm fragile! I need reassurance that I should keep going and not just go hide under a rock!

So I sat at work depressed for several hours before deciding to call my regular nurse in hopes that she was in the office today. When she called back I just flat out told her that I'm looking for some reassurance because I had this level of response to Clomid one month. She says she's not worried at all. That my estrogen level being 900 should mean there are some good follicles there and that she expects I'll have more when I come back on Friday. Ahhh. Relief. One thing we realized during our conversation is that I'm taking the Menopur in the morning and I'm supposed to be taking it at night. I don't know how I misunderstood that but of course I'm wondering if that has somehow caused my bad response. The nurse did not want me to move to a night Menopur dose but I could tell she was not happy with me. And she said I'll just have to do three injections in the morning, the Follistim, the Menopur and the Ganarelix, then the Follistim again at night. I don't care about the injections, I just hope my body can handle all the drugs at once. And I've been reading up on Menopur. It seems that headaches are a common side effect, and boy have I had them. I imagine taking it at night would have really helped with that.

I've noticed I'm back in that hole where I am fixated on reading infertility stories on the Internet. And they all seem bad. I mean compared to 3 small follicles on day 6. It's started consuming my thoughts again. Why should I go through that retrieval with only 3? Why not just do IUI? All the money I've already wasted on these injections. Why did I wait so long to do this. Why did he take so long to make the decision that he wanted to have a baby?

It is not good.